Today pales in comparison to yesterday.

In fact, it was the exact opposite of yesterday. Yesterday was grand and glorious. Today was a bag of cocks.

Yesterday, I was in such great spirits, I imbibed in some to commemorate such a wonderful day.

So far this evening, my dog has greeted me by laying at my feet. And then farting on them. And then retreating. A poetic ending to match the goings on of the day.

I watched enough sitcoms to know someone's going to be waiting around a corner to provide me with the old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say..."

I don't have anything nice to say. I won't say anything. This will keep commiting homicide.